When you’re ready to change your behaviour
If anger, control or put-downs are creeping into your relationships, it’s on you to change. That doesn’t happen by willpower alone - it takes honest work and the right help. Taking responsibility protects the people you love and gives you a better way forward.
Harmful behaviour isn’t just physical. It includes yelling, intimidation, constant criticism, jealous monitoring, controlling money or who someone sees, and blaming others for your reactions. These patterns are about power and control - and they’re choices.
Change starts with telling the truth about what’s happening and learning safer ways to deal with stress, conflict and strong feelings. You won’t lose your strength by changing - you’ll learn to use it well.
Talk to someone outside the situation - a counsellor or specialist service. Be honest about what’s happening and ask for help to do better.
Learn practical tools: pausing before you react; leaving the room when you’re escalating; choosing words that lower, not raise, the temperature.
If your partner or family doesn’t feel safe, respect distance and boundaries while you get help. Their safety comes first.
Local services will appear below on this page - reach out and book a first conversation.
Where to find support
MensLine Australia – Changing for Good (behaviour change program)
https://mensline.org.au/family-violence/changing-for-good/
Free, specialist counselling and structured support to help men change violent or controlling behaviour.
MensLine Australia – Experiencing a violent or abusive relationship
https://mensline.org.au/family-violence/experiencing-a-violent-or-abusive-relationship/
Information and counselling for men who are in unsafe relationships or unsure about what’s okay.
TIACS (This Is A Conversation Starter)
Free text and call counselling connecting tradies, truckies and rural men with mental health professionals.
1800RESPECT (national service)
https://www.1800respect.org.au/
24/7 confidential counselling and information about domestic, family and sexual violence. Learn what safe, respectful relationships look like and how change protects partners and kids.
